Why Networking Matters (Even if You Hate It)

Here’s the reality: visibility is a currency. People trust what they see often—psychologists call it the mere exposure effect. That means being visible isn’t vanity; it’s strategy. It puts you in the running for the “hidden job market” where opportunities circulate long before they ever make it to a job board.

Some of my biggest advocates, collaborators, and even lifelong friends came not from formal applications but from conversations at events. And often, not even from my close circle—what research calls loose ties. Acquaintances can open doors you never imagined.

Why We Hate It So Much

Despite the benefits, networking is one of the most disliked career activities I know. And I’ve heard every reason under the sun:

• It feels fake. We think we have to put on a professional mask and sell ourselves.
• It feels awkward. What if we get stuck with someone boring? Or worse—have to interrupt a group?
• It drains time and energy. After a long day, small talk can feel like the last thing you need.
• It carries the sting of bad experiences. Like the time, fresh back from maternity leave and eager to reconnect professionally, I went to a governance event. A senior board member looked at me, smiled, and asked: “So when are you going to have another baby?” Not exactly the empowering comeback I’d imagined.

So yes, the resistance is real. But here’s the good news: there’s another way.

Flip the Script: Three Principles That Change Everything

Over time, I’ve learned that successful networking doesn’t come from slick one-liners or handing out business cards like confetti. It comes from three simple shifts:

1. Be Authentic
   Your voice, your values, your style—that’s what builds trust. For me, even my colourful tops have become part of my personal brand. You don’t need to work the whole room; talk deeply with a few people who spark your interest. Lead with honesty, not performance.
   
   
2. Be Curious
   Curiosity takes the pressure off “selling.” Ask questions that go beyond job titles: What’s been the highlight of your work this year? or What are you most excited about right now? Listen for the story beneath the story. People remember how you made them feel, not just what you said.
   
   
3. Think Win–Win
   Networking works best when both sides benefit—even if the “win” is just a meaningful conversation. Offer before you ask. Celebrate others publicly. Make introductions. At one of my recent mentoring events, a mentor who swore she hated networking suddenly found herself grinning ear to ear. Why? Because she got to introduce her mentee to the CEO and CFO. In helping someone else, she was also building her own connections.

My Most Successful Networking Story

If I had to choose one story that captures the magic of networking, it’s when I met Marisa. It was 2007, just after I co-founded my not-for-profit. I was at a young directors’ event, talking to a woman handing out name tags. On the surface, she looked like an assistant. In reality, she was running a major agency in the middle of a corporate sale. We hit it off immediately. She later became the chair of my organisation, we built a business together during my PhD, and she’s still one of my closest friends today.

That’s the point: you never know who you’re talking to. Sometimes the person at the registration desk is the most interesting person in the room.

Keep Showing Up

Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about claiming your space and building the support you deserve. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at times. Yes, you might have a few false starts. But like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, you never know what you’ll get unless you keep showing up.

And when you show up authentically, with curiosity, and looking for win–win opportunities—you’ll find that networking stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like a chance. A chance to learn, to connect, and maybe, just maybe, to meet someone who changes your life.